


Anima Vestra

by FleetSparrow



Series: Story a Day in May 2019 [8]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 16:00:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18759697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FleetSparrow/pseuds/FleetSparrow
Summary: Joe finds himself in possession of one (1) soul.





	Anima Vestra

**Author's Note:**

> Day 8 of SADIM. Prompt: conflict.
> 
> I don't know how well I did with the prompt, but I've been wanting to write a sequel to Caveat Emptor, and now I have, so there.

Joe Hancock hadn’t exactly been expecting a soul to arrive at his doorstep, and certainly not in a box.

“You Hancock?” asked the deliveryman.

“That’s right,” Joe said.

“Got one soul for you. Just gotta sign here, use your card there. That does it.”

Joe didn’t know how much the soul cost, but he dutifully pulled out his credit card and ran it through the machine. The total came out to $29.99. Not bad for a soul at all.

Satisfied, the deliveryman handed back Joe’s card and the box with the soul. “Thanks for your business.”

Joe looked at the box in his hands, a question springing to mind. When he looked back up, the deliveryman was gone. Joe hadn’t seen him leave.

There were worse things, he guessed, than missing the exit of a deliveryman, and so Joe took his new soul back inside. He shared the house with no one and no thing. A soul might just make for a good companion.

He picked up his box cutter and looked for the best place to open the box. It was just an ordinary brown box, like an Amazon box without the logos. He found the seam of the box and slid his blade into the tape, slicing through it easily. He wondered about the soul inside. Would it be male? Female? Neither? He vaguely remembered picking mixed karma for this soul, so hopefully it would be like him, not too bad, but not too good, either.

He opened the box. A bright blue glow emanated from inside. He tried to look into it, but the light was too bright trapped in the box. A heavenly choir began to sing from everywhere and nowhere as the light slowly rose into the air. The glow seemed to dim the further away from the box it went, until Joe could look at it directly. The choir stopped. The soul floated above him, about where his head would be were he standing.

“Uh. Hello?” Joe tried.

“Hello, yes, hello! This is what greetings are, yes,” said the soul.

Joe’s brow furrowed. “Are you alright?”

“All right, no. Left also. And both, hahahaha.”

Joe looked around just to see if anyone was hiding and making fun of him. There was no one around but the glowing orb of the soul.

“Are you…. Were you human?”

“Human, yes. I once had the flesh bones, like human. Haha, yes, very human.”

Joe was not assuaged by this.

“You’re sure you were a human soul?”

“Human, yes, haha. Once mighty human, mmm, steak and beer, that is very human, yes?” said the soul.

Joe was now completely unconvinced.

“You know, if you were, I don’t know, an alien soul, you could tell me. I mean, you’re my new soul and everything.”

“What?!” The soul orb began to fly around in tight geometric patterns. “Was I not human? I am soul now, but haha, yes, I see! This is clever joke, haha. Once was human, very human, yes.”

Joe turned his head and stared into the middle distance as if it was a camera and he was on The Office.

Turning back to the soul, who had yet to calm down, he asked, “So, where are you from?”

“From. Where are we from? Oh yes, Kansas! Kansas, Kansas, where all the non-alien humans are from, yes.”

Joe grabbed his phone. “Would you give me a moment alone?”

“Of course, friend, yes! Take as many moments as you need.” The soul began zipping around the room, as if investigating everything.

Joe went into his room and found the strange business card where he had left it. Dialing the number—and only looking at it once, or else the numbers changed again—he sat on the bed waiting for someone to answer.

“Hello, and Welcome to Souls-A-Plenty,” said a nice, vaguely inhuman woman’s voice. “If you would like to check on your soul order, press one. If you would like to sell your soul, press two. If you would like to speak to one of our representatives, press three.”

Joe pressed three.

“If you know the extension of your party, please enter it now.”

Joe looked down at the card. An extension number suddenly burned into the paper. He dialed it in, six three times.

“Please hold while we connect you to your party.”

Some very hot fiddle music played while he was on hold. Suddenly, it cut off.

“Hello?” Joe said.

“Joe Hancock! How wonderful to hear from you,” said the voice on the other end. “This is Luce. We met on your way to work. I signed you up for one of our mixed karma starter souls.”

“Yes, I—”

“I see the soul was delivered today and opened. Well that’s very good. Very good, indeed. Now,” he finally paused for a breath. “How may I help you?”

“I think I got the wrong soul?” Joe said, though it came out as more of a question. “You see, I think it’s—” He lowered his voice. “—an alien.”

“Oh, yes, of course. Did I not explain? No, probably not, I might have forgot,” Luce said, in that frighteningly fast manner of his. “Almost all starter souls are not human souls. Some are animals and some are aliens that want to experience what it’s like to be a human-like soul. We repackage them, give them some basic human instruction, and set them free to homes like yours where they’ll be a good starter soul for all your basic soul needs.”

“So, they’re not human?”

“That’s right, but we do ask that you try and treat them as you would a human soul. You see, human souls are wildly unpredictable, so we only offer them to intermediate and advanced soul handlers.”

“I see.”

“Does that answer your questions? Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

“No, I think that’s it.”

“I do hope you enjoy your soul, and feel free to reach out to me anytime you need. Thank you for purchasing a soul from Souls-A-Plenty.”

The line went dead.

Joe looked back at the hallway off his bedroom. He could see a faint glow coming from the living room. Well, even if it wasn’t a human soul, it was his to look after, surely. That wouldn’t be too hard of a task.

Joe put the business card back where it belonged and rejoined the soul.

“Hello, friend,” said the soul. “Your moments have been pleasant, yes?”

“Yes, they were, uh. Yes.”

“That is good, yes, that is good.”

Joe sat back down on his couch. “So. Do you like Game of Thrones?”

“I love games, yes. Throne games, haha.”

Joe had a lot to teach this soul, but right now, that didn’t sound like it would be too bad of a job.


End file.
